{Voices}

Remember when I said I was going to actively be working on ways to share myself with others, and to have confidence that I have something to offer?  But that little, niggling voice that keeps telling that no one is listening, and that it's not really that important? 

I hate that voice.

I hate it more when I listen to it.

Like the entire blog post I just deleted because I reread it and thought that no one wants to listen to what I'm saying.  That the only person it matters to is me.  That there are other bloggers out there who can say it better, do it better, blog it better, which is true.

But.

But.

The instant I hit delete, I was mad.  Mad at myself for giving in and not revising and revisiting and taking a chance.  Not having the confidence that someone might be interested, that it might be helpful to someone.  Mad at that voice of insecurity that said my voice isn't worth my time.  Such a lie.

We all have a voice.  We can use it in various ways.  This blog is just one of many ways I use my voice to influence my world.  And when our voices are shut down, we lose our influence.  When others shut our voices down, it is hurtful to us.  When we shut ourselves down, it is catastrophic. 

Your voice is part of the song.  This part is so easy to say.  It belongs to someone else.  YOUR voice. 

And so I need to stop.  I have to take a minute and take that in.  Make it real.  Make it personal.  My voice is part of the song.  Each voice has a part to bring, and my voice, MY VOICE is part of the song.  In this moment, when I am writing this, I believe it. And yet, even as I'm writing, the voice is creeping in.  The one that says this is too much, or not enough.  Will I let it silence me?

While I can't get that deleted draft back, I can choose to be a part of the ongoing song of life.  Blog posts can be rewritten.  But how will I go forward and not doubt myself in the future, to remember that my voice is important?  I'll be doing some reflecting this week about how each person has a part to play in life.  I often come to Ephesians 4:16, which speaks about how each person has a unique role, and that we grow in love and life when each person comes in and fills their place. 

I picture it as a huge tapestry of life, and when each person steps in, and adds their voice to the song, eventually it can weave a beautiful picture of humanity and love.  But this can only happen when we willingly choose to lend our voices to the sound.

My voice is part of the song.